Cam's Visit With Dr. Ferber

Sorry it took so long for me to post this. I know a few of you are stalking my blog waiting! A huge thank you to my Aunt who watched Arianna for us while we went. It would have been torture with the two of them!

A little bit about why we went to see Dr. Ferber for those that don't know. About 2 months ago Cam started waking up 8-10x per night. He would call out for Steve, asked to be covered up, ask Steve to lay down with him, ask for a drink of water, and some times just cry. It got to the point where I would have to be the one to go in because he wouldn't ask me to lay down with him. In the beginning I would cover him up, get him water, etc. Then the weeks went on and we stopped giving into his requests yet he continued to wake up. I would tell him it was time to sleep and I wasn't coming in there again. Some times it worked, some times it didn't. After about a month I broke out my copy of Ferber's book (if you don't have a copy and you're a parent...I suggest you RUN to the bookstore now and buy it) to see what I could do. I also wanted to try everything I could before we went to see Dr. Ferber so that he wouldn't re-iterate what was in the book and we waste a visit.

In the book he suggests putting him to bed about an hour after they usually fall asleep and to also limit his naps to 1.5-2 hours. Well, Cam wasn't falling asleep until 9:30-10ish and there was NO way we were keeping him up until 11 so we pushed his bed time until 10. It did help. It cut his wakings at night in half. But he was still waking. He was also waking in the morning a miserable grump. He would cry and throw tantrums for 10-20 minutes until he fully woke up or snapped out of it.

So, when we brought this up at his 3yr well visit in May (at that point it was very bad and had been going on for about 3w) his Pedi referred us to Ferber rather than tackle it himself!

Yesterday's visit went very well. Cam did amazingly well. I packed his backpack with toys and coloring books and it made all the difference in the world. He played with his trucks while we talked. He didn't like being weighed but it was fine since I had all that info from last month. He kinda freaked when we went into the room and he saw all the instruments but we kept telling him we were there to talk to the doctor and he wouldn't touch him. The visit started with Dr. Ferber's NP Maile (love the name, sounds like Miley). Actually, she ran the whole visit! She got a complete history: sleep schedule, daily schedule, sleep problems, eating habits, medical history, etc. That took awhile, probably about 30-40 minutes?? After she had everything she commented on how she thought Dr. Ferber would go with our "plan." She said he would probably recommend a stricter schedule (he's big into schedules but I'm also a scheduler so I was ok with it), a gate at the door (yeah, not gonna lie, I'm not ok with this one), and limiting his sleep (ummm, he's hardly sleeping as it is!). She paged him, then left the room to "brief" him.

About 5 minutes later they both came into the room. Since you're all wondering, yes it was like meeting a celebrity. I admit, I was a little star struck! He looks nothing like his Facebook picture. He is about my height, white hair and beard both very short in length and he has very blue eyes. He told us that we were doing a good job with Cam's sleeping since he went from waking 8-10x/night 2 months ago down to just 1-2x now. But that we just needed to "clean up a few things." He tried to explain the sticker chart to Cam but Cam wanted NOTHING to do with him! He wouldn't even look at him! That was a little embarrassing but he's 3. I'm sure he gets it all the time. Dr. Ferber quickly went over his plan of action then he left it up to Maile to write it all up and see us out. Total face time with Dr. Ferber? Less than 5 minutes!

For all you Mom's here is exactly what *the* Dr. Ferber suggested:

1. Fix Schedule by shortening his night
Bedtime: 9:30pm (go into his room at this point, not before, and begin stories)
Wake up: 6:00am (wake up no matter what happens at night. He is to start his day at this time every day)
Nap: 1 hour

2. At bedtime, go into his room at 9:30pm, read stories and leave. If he wakes up during the night do very little. Just check on him from the gate.

3. Put a gate on the doorway of his room. (they gave me a handout on how to do it. The reasoning is you basically turn the room into a "crib" and follow the Progressive Waiting Approach)

4. Once he's falling asleep quickly, sleeping through the night, always waking him in the morning, and taking a good nap, then start moving his bed time back or waking him later in the morning in 15 minute intervals. (9:15pm or 6:15am)

5. Try a sticker chart and reward him for sleeping through the night and not getting out of his bed.

They also gave us a few sleep charts to fill out and track his sleep so they can see it at his next appointment. I'm on board with everything except the gate. Cam doesn't get out of his bed in the middle of the night but he some times does right after we put him down. He plays the "I'm cold", "there's monsters coming" game. Dr. Ferber said the gate will stop that and it will force us not to be able to go into his room and "reward" him by calling out. When Cam calls out each time and we go into check on him we are essentially rewarding him for calling out. Cam is getting what he wants, which is a response from us. So the gate forms that barrier (much like the crib because parents cant physically get into the crib)and stops us from rewarding him. If Cam calls out at night we go to the gate and just say "its time to sleep Cam, good night" then leave. They also gave us the time chart for returning.

So, that was our visit. I'm glad we went. We were on the right track and I'm very hopeful by the time we go back in July that we won't have any more issues.